When you sense a conflict brewing in the business situation what do you do? Do you put your head down and focus on your own work to stay out of it? Do you play peacekeeper and attempt to help everyone just get along? Or do you add fuel to the fire?
According to the leading theories of conflict, there are five major “conflict styles,” or approaches we take to handling disagreements. Everyone uses one of these styles at one point or another, but most of us tend to stick to one or two styles in most situations. The style you are most comfortable with and use majority of time can have a big impact on the outcome. It can help you arrive at a solution to your advantage or make you suffer with unfavorable outcome. It is crucial to understand what style you are most comfortable with and develop alternate styles so you can respond appropriately in a given situation.
Five Types of Conflict Resolution Style
In the 1970s, researchers developed a grid that encompasses five common styles of conflict. The grid includes two basic dimensions – assertiveness and cooperation. The assertiveness quotient gauges how much one values his or her own self-interest in a given conflict, while the cooperation quotient gauges how much one values relationship with others and their concerns. Each quotient is rated on a scale from low to high. A conflict style, therefore, is determined by the balance between the assertiveness and cooperation quotients.
- Avoiders rank low on the assertiveness and cooperation scales. They will do anything to avoid conflict, as they don’t like to engage in a fight. While this style is effective for someone trying not to “sweat the small” stuff it can create a larger issue down the road.
- Collaborators are on the other end of the spectrum. They have high assertiveness and high cooperation quotients. They are focused on finding creative solutions to meet everyone’s needs. Those who study and practice alternative dispute resolution techniques often encourage a collaborative conflict style to solve problems.
- Competitors are those who are not concerned with the needs of others. They are very assertive. They are the “bull in a china shop.” This style can be useful in certain situations, but does tend to create hard feelings and more conflict.
- Accommodators are the opposite of the competitors. They value relationships over being assertive and may even neglect their own needs to end the conflict.
- Finally, Compromisers fall in the middle of both assertiveness and cooperation grid. The motto of this style is “let’s make a deal,” which seeks to find a middle ground that all parties can live with. While this can end conflicts quickly, in essence everyone loses something, and the solutions may not always work long-term.
How to Use Your Style to Your Advantage
While most people tend to gravitate toward one or two styles of conflict majority of the time, there are times when a different style may be a better choice. Choosing the right style comes down to evaluating the importance of both the goal and the relationship. The higher the importance of the goal, the more assertive you need to be, while the more important the relationship to you, the more cooperative you should be.
For example, if the outcome of the conflict is important, but so is the relationship, it is worth taking time to collaborate on a solution. If neither is very important, then avoidance might be the best tactic. If the outcome is more important compared to relationship you can approach with competitive style from the get-go, setting the stage for the negotiation on your terms. Taking the time to assess these factors before engaging in a negotiation not only can help you avoid unnecessary conflict or inappropriate reactions, but it can also help you determine the best course of action before you engage.
Of course, there are other important factors to consider when considering negotiation styles and how you approach it, such as time, the relative power of both parties and preferred communication styles. But by understanding your negotiation style and picking the one that is best suited for a given situation, you will have more productive disagreements and be able to reach satisfactory conclusions more effectively.
About the Author: While earning her degree in alternative dispute resolution, Anne Michaelson spent a great deal of time studying conflict management and conflict theory. She now works as a mediator.
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